The Invader was one of the coolest rides at Rainbow’s End. As I climbed onto the platform I was so excited that my knees were trembling. While l was waiting in the queue, I thought, “It will be a very exciting ride!” Finally, when it was my turn, I hopped onto the dark-blue machine. It started when everyone was strapped in and ready. It got faster and faster, until all of the riders, including me and Dad, were shrieking as the ride swirled around the blue track taking us all with it! Finally, the ride slowed down and came to a stop. We all staggered off the Invader, which was now swirling other people around its fast track.
By Kayla
Its good but you need a bit more punctuation and how long were you in the line for?
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